I'm Alive

In case you were worried, I am still alive and well, very well. So well that I've been waaaay too busy to keep up the 4 day a week blogging thing. It was good while it lasted, right? Anyways, I'll update later but for now, just know that we made it home. HOME. And we're happy. That's an understatement, but you get the picture. I think I've had enough of this short, choppy, grammatically incorrect babbling. Maybe tomorrow I'll make time for a little something involving thought and effort. Maybe...

I Must Be Crazy

Today Michael and I took a little adventure to Panera Bread for a little breakfast date turned study session. It was wonderful, and for some reason I was giddy. It may have had something to do with our seats by the fireplace, PLUS there was an outlet nearby...score! So we posted up there and enjoyed our breakfast sandwiches on really yummy bagels. Oh, and did I mention the whole back wall was glass, making for an absolutely gorgeous view of the mountains. Yes, I will miss the mountains very much. And the weather. Speaking of, it was sixty and sunny today. Be jealous all you Indiana folk!

I'm sure right now you're all probably wondering, "what exactly will you miss about Colorado?" So I'll tell you...in no particular order...

- Jamba Juice (I know, other places have these too, but not Crawfordsville)
- Chipotle
- Super Target
- Basically all the perks of living in a city...
  the proximity to anything and everything you could ever imagine
- Looking at the mountains
- Camping in the mountains
- Skiing in the mountains...which, ok we never even did but I'm still going to miss that
- Driving through the mountains
- Aspen...it's in the mountains
- The mountains
- 300 days of sun
- The Kenyon family and Truman
- Watching J & C play basketball
- The Stevens family...I don't even want to think about not seeing Caleb every week. Sob fest.
- Jan, Gordon, Faith and David...especially Faith's storytelling
- Aunt Laura and Don

That covers all the major bases...but I'm sure there are a thousand little things I will miss once I'm not here to take them for granted anymore. 

I must be crazy for leaving this.

This is what our room looks like...

 

I packed everything in one day. 

As if we were leaving tomorrow or something. 

Except we're not.

But we could if all that mattered was having everything packed!

I feel like I did when I was ten, packing for Disney World two weeks before leaving, and then having to unpack half of my stuff because I still needed it.

That's me right now. Just waiting to go to Disney World and look at Magic Kingdom in wonder at how I ever lived without it. 

But there is one major thing that's different now from when I was ten. 

When I was ten, the days passed slowly, threatening to never end.

These days, on the contrary, are flying by faster than I can understand. 

Because this time, I'm not just leaving my little town for a quick vacation only to return the next week. This time, it's more like leaving Disney Land to live instead at Disney World. Leaving a place I love and never thought I would leave for a place that suits me just a tiny bit better. I'm trading a good thing for another good thing.

And although I'd rather it be this way than another, it still means that I have to leave good things behind. Very good things, that I wish I could just pack up and take with me. Unfortunately, they're all people who would probably notice if I tried stuffing them into boxes... 

I Remember...

every Christmas Eve, my sister and I would build a fort in one of our rooms and stay up as late as we could to try and catch "Santa" in the act. One year, it finally paid off. Sure enough, Santa came peaking in on the two little girls pretending to be asleep. Only he wasn't your typical Santa dressed in red...he actually looked more like my dad in his underwear. Que uncontrollable laughter from two little girls trying to stifle snort inducing hilarity in a silent house...unsuccessfully. I guess Mr. and Mrs. Claus must have been deaf that night because shortly after, we heard them hauling gifts to the living room. And once the coast was clear, what did we do? Uhuh, tip-toed right out there to lay eyes on all the pretty gifts under the tree. Oh the good old days :)

Sorry dad, I can't remember if we told you about that one yet...but it's true, and now the whole world knows!

Random Monday

So I think last week went pretty well, don't you? At least I'm pretty proud of myself what with blogging four days out of the week and all. Many pats on the back for me. Now on to the randomness that is Monday, or should it be miscellaneousness?

I'm sick again. As in, my throat hurts like crazy, my body won't stop aching, my head won't stop pounding and I swear my tongue has doubled in size. Thank you, immune system, for being worthless.

Michael and I might have jobs once we move back. It's still in the works, but we are still pumped! PTL and thank you Mama.

I will be chopping off half of my hair soon. If anyone is interested in the other half, just let me know. Really, why do I have enough hair for four people?

I am mysteriously feeling the urge to paint my nails.

And eat dinner. If possible, through a feeding tube to avoid swallowing.

I can't stop daydreaming about everything I want to do once we move to Grandma's house. Oh the paint choices!

Michael is taking a nap next to me. It's 6:15 and he's supposed to go play basketball. I keep waking him up, but he ain't budging. And when he does wake up, guess who he'll be mad at for not waking him up? What's a girl to do?

I'm really not a fan of the "new profile" on Facebook.

I really need to get behind the camera again.

I've been laying at the foot of the bed all day watching HGTV in between naps.

Ok, I'll be back with another life altering post tomorrow. But right now, my tummy is yelling at me.

Sleep, My Mammy, and Taco Bell

It's Friday and you know what that means! Oh, you don't? Well, it means it's 7:38 and I am ready for bed. No, not just ready, past ready. As in, I could have gone to sleep an hour ago. Legitimately people, I just had a conversation with Michael that I don't remember whatsoever. I texted him to ask if I hung up on him. Because really, I don't remember saying goodbye, or anything except for that he called me. I'm runnin' on empty. What I wouldn't give for twelve hours in pitch black silence.

Why, you ask? Because I can't sleep. Because my mind refuses to pause from it's whirlwind of thoughts and dreams and ideas and what-ifs. So basically I'm an insomniac. I can't really complain though, I'd much rather have it this way than close my eyes each night with nothing to dream about.

Aaannnnd if you're wondering why I'm posting this two hours later than when I started, it's because I just got off the phone with my momma. aka my inside woman, my marketing agent, my co-dreamer, my MAMMY (that was for you, mom...enjoy). Anyway, we just had a nice little chit chat about all the ways she's been hooking us up back on the home-front. Let me tell you, she is quite the string-puller. And then, mid convo, she made my dad drive all the way across town to Taco Bell since he was going to get a slurpy (at 10:30 pm mind you...normal) from the gas station that's two minutes away from my house. And on top of that, she ate it right in my ear and talked about how good it was. So now I'm starving...and going to Taco Bell.

And then I've got a date with the Sandman.

GOOD NIGHT.

How did it get to be Thursday?

Well, apparently Wednesday is my new skip day. Sorry about that, and I'm still not sure how it got to be Thursday. And since I have SO much to fill you in on, I guess Thursday is as good a day as any to be an "update day."

Now for the update. Wait, hold on one second, I need to do another happy dance to get rid of this excitement long enough to finish this post...

Ok. Really, if I could insert a drum roll, I would. It's that big. Just do it yourself.

.....................................insert dramatic silence.....................................

WE'RE MOVING BACK HOME IN LESS THAN THREE WEEKS! LIKE INDIANA. AS IN MY GRANDMA'S FARM HOUSE. A HOUSE. BY OURSELVES. I AM A GROWN UP!

Ok, deep breath.

So, Michael and I will be moving back to Cville indefinitely, and we couldn't be more excited! (in case that wasn't already clear...I really feel like writing this entire post in capital letters in order to properly express my enthusiasm, but I think that might get a little overwhelming)

Anyways, I know you're all dying to have details, so I'll try. But cut me some slack, so much has happened in the past two days that I'm sure I sound like a rambling nutcase... BUT, basically, we I have been stressing out, looking for "real" jobs and housing in CO in time to have our own place by mid December. No such luck. Every door was closed and we were beginning to wonder if maybe we weren't supposed to be here after all. And on top of that, Michael decided not to finish grad school as it is not necessary for his career, and right now it's just not in the budget. So really, we have nothing holding us here (aside from the family and friends who we will miss waaay too much).

We were in a season of waiting for a solid month where we were seeking and praying that the Lord would give us direction and discernment and then provide a way for us to follow in His instruction. We were totally content in knowing that He would provide in His time. We knew that He knew, even though we hadn't the slightest clue. But even knowing that, it's hard not to feel the pressure, and when time seems to be running out it's not super fun having no idea what your next step will be. And now that we know, I could not be more thankful, relieved, excited and just amazed by His goodness.

Anyways, after talking to my dad for a good while the other night, we learned that my grandma's old farm house will be vacant sometime in January, giving us the opportunity to have a home to live in for an unbelievably affordable price. And on top of that, we get to be back in Indiana, back with our family, our friends, and our church. We get to be home. Although Colorado is beyond gorgeous, and arguably one of the most amazing places to live in the entire US, it's just not home. Home, for us, is a place surrounded by family and friends, a small town with land to be farmed, teams to be coached, people to be photographed and lives to love on.

It's amazing that in just two days so many questions have been answered and so many doors have been opened. God is good.

And remember that house I was wishing for, oh, three days ago?! The one with walls and doors and doorknobs and windows? It's here! Granted it's not really our home in the sense of ownership. But, it's not just any home either. It's the home my grandma raised my daddy and his seven brothers and sisters in. My aunt's and uncles who I love so much. I'm so amazed. So thankful.

Proverbs 3:5-8 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct you paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh, and strength to your bones. 

***disclaimer*** I'm not actually a real grown up, I only try really hard to look like one. But sometimes I eat popcorn for dinner and cookie dough for breakfast and sleep in too late and listen to silly music and basically act like I'm eleven. It's a miracle that I manage to get the bills paid on time and keep up with laundry. But truthfully, I probably need adult supervision more often than not. But hey, that's why I married a 25 year old!

Remember

I can't think of a catchy title for it, but I am officially christening Tuesdays as a day for recording memories. I think one of my biggest fears in life is forgetting things. And maybe that's why I'm so in love with photography, one look at a picture and it brings back a thousand memories. It is true you know, a picture really is worth a thousand words. But anyways, I have so many amazing memories that I never ever ever want to forget. And there are some that I know for sure I won't have a problem remembering. But it's the little things, the small moments, the lessons learned, the laughter, the heartache...I just want to remember them all. There are hundreds of memories flooding my mind, begging to be remembered, but just one for tonight.

So when I was little, probably about three, my dad used to travel some for his job, and he would always bring me something back from his trip as a gift. So this particular time, he came home and had a little brown paper bag in his hand and told me he had a surprise for me. Of course, I was immediately thrilled and anticipating what my surprise might be, jumping up and down. My dad continued to set the paper bag on the floor and I could see a long bushy tail hanging out of the top. Before long, the bag started moving all over the place, and it wasn't long before I figured out there was something alive inside there. Like any three year old girl I was ecstatic: jumping around, squealing, chasing the "thing" in the bag around full of so much joy I nearly exploded...and then I finally caught it.

I grabbed it by the tail just a little too hard and the next thing I new the only thing in my hand was the tail. I was mortified as I watched the paper bag continue to jump around the floor, tailless. I had just ripped the tail off of my new pet!

And then I looked up to see mommy and daddy laughing. It was all a joke. The thing inside the bag was a little battery powered ball that jumped around when it was turned on. I still remember it, it was orage on one half and blue on the other, that evil little toy. I was devastated, heartbroken, furious, etc.

Who does that to a three year old?! Seriously, come on!

But, fortunately I got over it quickly and decided to make the most of it by tricking everyone else I knew. Which, at the age if three included my grandparents. Obviously, they weren't as shocked as I was to find that it wasn't, in fact, a pet squirrel.

Miscellaneous Monday

I realize that's not original.

And I know that some blogger woman out there has probably claimed it already and has a cute little button with copy rights and the whole bit. But, really. It's so unoriginal that I don't think anyone should be able to claim it. And since I need some structure to my blogging, I thought it would be helpful to have some sort of category for each day that would make it a little easier for me to get in a routine. I have yet to figure out the rest of the week. Maybe a photo post, an update day, and something that actually requires thought at least one day a week. We'll see how that goes. But today is all about random.

One. Two and Three

I miss basketball. Like really, seriously miss everything about it. And by basketball, I mean everything but my one year of college basketball (although I do miss the girls...shout out to LJ cool J). I miss getting ready for practice after school, and then sitting around forever afterward, too exhausted to get dressed and go home...quality time with KJ, slowest person EVER. I miss being in amazing shape, praying centercourt after every game, long bus rides full of singing and Alex reading cosmo, skipping practice when you couldn't find your jersey, rocking out before games to Lecrae, chanting GO GO BETTY, GO GO GO BETTY. Oh, the good old days. I miss all the girls and Coach Haas and T$. I'd go back in a heartbeat if I could...but only if I could still be married!

Four.

I love Chipotle. I could eat it every day, along with Jamba Juice.

Five.

Michael just wrote an 18 page paper, and I feel like a proud mother...or wife? Only a few weeks left until his semester is over and we move on to who knows what. That's not terrifying or anything. 

Six.

I think I've spent eight hours every day for the past 800 days searching and applying for jobs. How many ways can I spell AWESOME. 

Seven.

I want a house. With walls that I can paint whatever color my heart desires. With doors and door nobs and windows and maybe a fireplace. That will be the day.

Eight.

I've been wearing men's knee high socks lately, and I'm a big fan. So warm, and very fashionable. It's hard being this cool, really. 

Nine.

300 is such a great movie. Hello, Gerard Butler...you're almost as attractive as my husband. Almost.

Ten.

I love Christmas. I am praying my heart out that we get to go home. And if we do, I will enjoy my evenings by the fireplace mesmerized by the glow of the Christmas tree with a cup of apple cider, and if I'm really lucky there might even be snow. Heaven.

Eleven.

I miss my cat Cutie so much I could cry. 

Twelve.

I'm in need of a good read. 

Thirteen.

I'm in need of a good sleep.

Nighty night.

Turkey Day...In Pictures

I am thankful for...

My aunt, who in two days, gave me more cooking experience than I've had my entire life!

This happy baby.

Our successful pumpkin pie. 

My husband...who also loves Caleb. Who doesn't?

This table. The food on it, and the people around it.

 The people we couldn't be with. PTL for Skype!

This family.

And this guy, too.

I am blessed.

I Am Thankful

I've really enjoyed the month of November and the constant reminder that I have so much to be thankful for, not just the 25 days leading up to Thanksgiving, but everyday of the year. So I've been making it a habit to begin each day, from the moment I open my eyes, by being still and thanking God.

There is so much to be thankful for. But today, I could not be more thankful for my husband. For waking up each morning and stretching my legs, only to bump into his. For rolling over to the sleepy smile that never fails to welcome me each day. I am so thankful.

No matter how many things Michael may not be, I love him for all that he is. I know now that even the things that drive me nuts, are the things that make him him, and I wouldn't change a thing. Because to change one thing would be to trade another, and I'm just not willing to do that.

He loves me so well, and he makes me happier than I ever imagined was possible. He never stops making me laugh...or at least trying [For instance, he is currently singing a made up song while he writes his paper in the basement thinking no one else can hear him. And when I texted him that I just ordered some padded walls for him, he started singing even louder.]

But really, I am so thankful to have him in my life, by my side everyday, knowing he's not going anywhere. Knowing that he will never stop being the glue that holds me together when I feel like the next breath might shatter me into tiny misshaped pieces. He is my shoulder, my friend, my lover, and my constant reminder that life is only as wonderful as the people you share it with.

 

Catching Up

I think it's well past time for me to get caught up in Blogger world, and move on to what is actually happening in the present. That said, here's the rest of our infamous trip from oh, over a month ago (why does it feel like a year ago?) Anyway...

Here you see Sarah continuing on the Russell legacy of outrageous athleticism.

The day after "the surprise" kicked off fall break for Sarah and Christopher, so we spent some quality time enjoying the gorgeous Fall weather with some football and soaking up the sun on AU's campus.

Thanks to my sister for capturing this pretty picture of Michael 

and me thoroughly enjoying all things Indiana.

The whole gang. Sarah and Olivia make a cute couple, yes?

And here we transition to our adventures in TH. Which, sadly, meant we had to say goodbye to Sarah. But on the bright side, sunsets over freshly harvested corn fields are something I will never take for granted. Indiana will always be home to this girl.

Christopher, Alison, Michael and I spent the day wandering around the farm and setting up camp under this enormous tree.

Here we have our campsite and a super old tent more accurately described as "vintage" since that makes it infinitely more cool...which it was.

Before dinner we spent some time with the babies, and this is one of my favorite photos. What you can't see, is that another very curious calf was inches away from my face, literally breathing in my ear as I snapped this picture :) He just loved whoever had the camera and pretty much followed it around everywhere.

After a big tasty home cooked meal, we set out for our campsite where Chris whooped us all in Clue multiple times.

We got tired of losing pretty quickly so we moved on to more entertaining ventures like star-tripping and expressing our theories on evolution...Kidding! Good old Indiana had a fire ban and after all the fun wore off we decided it would be much more comfortable sleeping in a warm house with beds. So we did. The next morning we had a yummy breakfast and then headed back to Cville so that Michael could catch a Wabash football game before we left for Indy to see some of our good friends get married!

 And they lived happily ever after...

while we went straight to bed before waking up early Sunday morning to make the drive back to CO.

As I've reflected on this trip over the past...month, I can hardly understand where the time has gone. It was such a jam packed week filled with so many faces and places and lessons along the way. I will never forget the looks on the faces of the people I love most when they realized who was standing in front of them. And I will forever be grateful that I always have them to come home to. But this trip was so much more than just ten days of fun and surprises; I learned more in those ten days than any other. The thirty hours spent driving across the country with my husband was a blessing straight from heaven in a time when we so needed to be united and closer to Jesus than ever before. The Lord totally used our impulsive decision to pick up and leave to reveal some things to us about ourselves that we otherwise may not have seen; to convict us of the things we were not doing well enough; to reveal to us things we never knew existed; to teach us humility and love; and to show Himself to us in grace and mercy. We came back to CO excited, exhausted, faithful and with a renewed sense of purpose and awareness about what God had called us to.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

THE END.

Surprise Part Three

Wednesday afternoon when Olivia got out of school for Fall Break, Michael came back from Terre Haute to pick us up and head to Anderson. We were a little nervous about how this particular surprise would turn out because we had already been in Indiana for over four days, and since we all have a lot of the same friends, we knew there was a chance that someone might inadvertently spill the beans. Lucky for us, no one did and we also had some pretty sneaky people on our sides. Christopher's girlfriend, Alison, was our big in and kept us current on their schedules and helped get some of Sarah's friends involved to make everything run smoothly. We knew that Sarah would show up in the RA office that evening because she thought she had to work (but her friends covered for her...they are saints, seriously!) so we showed up in the office a few minutes before she got out of chapel and it went a little something like this...

"Why are all these people in here, and why is that person taking pictures of me?"

Realization: cue piercing scream

Fall to the ground crying, laughing, and still screaming still.

Peel Sarah off the ground.

Hugging and more crying and asking how we're there.

Sarah is still not functioning while Michael and I die laughing at her reaction.

Hugs for Olivia.

And more hugs for Michael.

I don't think the phrase, "a picture is worth a thousand words" has ever been more true. So now that you've had a visual, here is a little word from Sarah explaining her side of the story...

Every other Wednesday night I spend three hours in the RA office, simply being available to the residents in my hall in case they need anything.  Last week was my duty night, and to be honest I was not that excited about it. All that week I had anticipated being in the championship intramural football game that night instead of working, but my team had taken a brutal loss the night before. It was the day before Fall Break, which calls for an overabundance of fatigue and stress. Needless to say, I wasn't looking forward to working. As I put the key in the door and slowly opened it, I became apprehensive as the light was already turned on. Even more suspicions came as two of my best friends were sitting there on the right as I lifted my head. "Hm, maybe they want to come hang out, cool! This won't be as bad as I thought!" And then I looked straight up. On the couch at the back of the room were 3 people I never thought would ever be sitting in that room, like ever. Smack dab in the middle, Michael Angelo Russell was smiling back at me. My heart skipped a beat. My mouth dropped. Next to him was a huge camera in front of a face, and as soon as my confused brain put two and two together, I realized that face belonged to Lexi. And on his other side of Michael was Olivia. When all of this actually registered, the shocked look turned into a loud, piercing, shriek. I fell, literally fell to my knees and just started crying. MY family? My DENVER family was sitting right in front of me? And no one had even told me?!  I didn't even consider the fact that I was in the middle of the hallway, on my knees, crying, all I could think about was Michael and Lexi were here. To see me. Lexi came over and hugged me, and I'm pretty sure I was too weak to hug her back. Now I know what you're thinking. This all sounds pretttty darn pathetic. But words cannot even begin to explain the joy that was in my heart. Just that day for my teacher interview I had a writing prompt about the person I admire the most, and I had written about my oldest brother, Michael. I never could have fathomed that at the very moment that my pen was expressing my love for him, he was driving hours upon hours to come see me. You might think I'm crazy for having such a dramatic reaction, but I think you're crazy for not realizing what an amazing family I have. I am so blessed. 

And there you have it. Obviously, it was a roller coaster of a reaction including just about every positive emotion known to man. But wipe your tears because it's time to move on to Christopher who after surprising Sarah was kind of a let down in the reaction category, but still just as fun. I'm kidding! His reaction was so him and it was great...

here we have Michael reading a newspaper as Chris walks in (as were the rest of us at the table, except for me, I hid behind the camera) 

and here we have Chris completely oblivious to the fact that there was anyone else in the room.

here he is assessing the situation.

still assessing.

and one last double take...

OOHHHHHH! WAIT, WHAAAAAT?

"I'm so happy I don't know what to do"

hugs all around.

and to top it all off, a lovely group shot...

In summary: SUCCESS 

more on the rest of our AU adventures to come! 

(no promises on when though...) 

To Kristin and Sarah,

my two faithful, demanding, nagging, beautiful readers, this is dedicated to you!

I've learned my lesson, and that's the last time I put a teaser at the end of a post.

Alternate Title: Surprise Part Two

So.

Picking up where we left off...

Michael and I hit the couch around 5:30 am IN time, right after I snuck back to mom and dad's room and gave Mom a hug (dad was on a church retreat until Sunday night). The next morning, Michael and I waited for Olivia to finally roll out of bed around 10:30. We pretended to be asleep when we heard her walking down the hallway and then come to an abrupt stop, followed by twenty seconds of silence, followed by running back down the hallways, followed by running back in the living room and "waking" us up. It turns out, she walked in in her underwear (don't worry, Michael had his eyes closed!) and once she realized who was on the couch, which apparently took a good while, she sprinted to her room to put some shorts on before coming back out to this...

and this...

and the next day we (by we I me an Olivia and I) did this...

 and found nifty things like this...

and after that, we went to Curt and Jeannie's and met Bailey...

and after that we went to my Grama and Grampa's to surprise them...

Which went something like this: Olivia rang the doorbell and peaked through the window while Michael and I stood pressed against the door. As soon as the doorbell rang I heard my Grampa (who sits in a chair watching tv two steps away from the door) say, "Lana! You gonna get that?" who responded, "Bill, I'm cleaning the kitchen floor!" Soon enough Grampa was out of his chair and caught a glimpse of Olivia before opening the door and announced to Grama that Olivia was there. He opened the door to see Michael and I and stood their shocked with a precious grin on his face before wrapping me in a bear hug as I heard Grama yell, "Hi, Olivia!" from the kitchen. Moments later Grama hurried around the corner absolutely clueless before stopping dead in her tracks and proclaiming the most hilarious response I've ever heard from my sweet, mild mannered, five foot nothing grama. Eyes wide, arms crossed she said, "you little shits! I just talked to you on the phone!" And so the night begun. Later we went to my house for pizza and conversation mostly centered on Grama's reaction and wise words from my Grampa on the origins of the "S" word. According to him, it stands for Store High In Transit, an acronym used in the good old days when ships hauled manure across the Atlantic. Don't you feel better knowing that? Me too.

Moving on to surprise number three. Dad.
Dad had been on a church retreat the past four days and got home Sunday night just after reading letters that all of us had written him as a part of the retreat. Needless to say, it was an emotional weekend for him. And if you know my dad, you know that he still cries every time I leave the house and is, in general, an emotional basket-case when it comes to anything involving his girls (mom, Olivia and me). Anyways, back to the surprise. He rode home with one of his best friends, Kevin Parker, who had been updating us on how far away they were, and when they pulled in the driveway all of us were out there playing basketball. Dad was crying before he even got out of the car...

Chalk that up as another successful surprise! We ended the night with a good old fashioned game of horse, or maybe it was more like thirty games, followed by family time in the living room and fun stuff like four-person-push-ups...

The next day, Michael went to Terre Haute to see his parents and help his dad with harvest while I stayed at home and caught up with good friends and surprised one last very special lady, my dad's mom Grama Gerry.

Grama Gerry is a stubborn, no-nonsense, straight shooting woman who's all bark and absolutely no bite. She's my kind of woman. She is in her late 80's and while she's mentally sharp as a tack (minus a tiny bit of forgetfulness) she isn't very mobile, so she sits in that chair all day watching t.v. So this time I thought I'd bring a movie to watch with her even though she always insists that she "doesn't like movies." Someone tell me how the lady who watches t.v. all day won't watch a movie? I still don't know, but at least I tried. Like I said, she's stubborn. So I gave in and watched t.v. as we ate our BK value meals that I brought for lunch and she stole my french fries. She also always mutes the commercials. Why? Again, I don't know because half the time she sits there wondering what the commercial might be about. And I'm all like, "you know you could just leave the volume on!" But no. Instead we made a game of guessing what each commercial was for before the other. I creamed her. If it's starting to sound like I'm dissing on my grama, I am, but it's ok that's how our relationship is, we have an understanding. And she knows I love her!

That about covers all the Crawfordsville surprises! Next...Anderson!

blahblahblahblahblah

Ever have those days? 

Well, that's me right now. 

I've started about five drafts of the next "surprise blog," but I just can't get it finished. Not because it's hard, but because I just don't want to. For some reason, writing lately feels a whole lot more like a chore than an escape and I'm just not up for it. I feel like there are 8,000,888 things that I need to do, but don't have the slightest idea of where to start, and not even blogging (one of the easier of the 8,000,888 things) sounds fun right now. I know I'm sounding all "woe is me" which I'm well aware is never very attractive, but I just need to sort through some things. 

The past few weeks have been something else. I don't even know how to explain it, and I'm still processing. But it feels a lot like I've been standing in front of a fire hose getting blasted in the face for about two weeks straight. My skin is raw, I'm sore and beat up, and most of all I am exhausted from holding my ground, trying to stand firm and let God use this time to blast away all of me that isn't good and replace it with something useful that will bring glory to Him. Somewhere inside of me I know that Jesus has access to the on/off knob and is allowing it to stay on because it is best for me, and while that is comforting, it doesn't make it any easier or less painful. But, as we all know, life's not all about ease. So right now I'm clinging to the truth that He is faithful. That he will complete the work He has started in me.  That He understands. That He is bigger than everything else around me. That He is just, merciful and loving. And that He has a purpose, and wants me to be a part of it.

That last part is what I really don't understand. Right now I just can't see it. How or why He would want to use me for anything representing Him. Because quite honestly, I'm not a very good representation of a perfect, selfless, holy love. I don't even come close. But I suppose that is precisely why God sticks with me, with all of us. How much more beautiful is it when someone who is sinful, broken and totally unworthy is changed by the power of God to display a love that is not of this world? 

That is my prayer today and everyday. That God would rid me of myself and overflow me with His love, His joy, His peace, His patience, His kindness, His goodness, His faithfulness, His gentleness and His self-control.

Please don't read this to say that I am not thankful or blessed to be where I am, because that is so far from the truth. God has blessed me with far more than I deserve, and right now I'm just in a definite season of learning; especially learning to trust and rest, even when I don't understand. Learning to be humble. To listen. To give grace. To persevere. And to fight. 

Ephesians 6:12-13 For we do not wrestle with flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age...Therefore take up the whole armor of God that you may be able to withstand [the fire hose], and having done all, to stand. 

Surprise Part One (of many parts)

As Michael and I drove home from babysitting two Thursdays ago, we talked about how much we love Fall weather. This topic of course lead to imagining what Indiana must be like: invigorating crisp air, 70 and sunny, turning leaves of every color, Wabash football, and the covered bridge festival. Sounds a lot like the definition of perfection, no? As our dialogue progressed, we arrived at the conclusion that it would be the absolute perfect week to go home. It started off as a kind of joke, wishful thinking, but quickly progressed to "what if?" and then "could we really?" followed by "oh, lets just do it!" Very responsible, I know (note the sarcasm). But we did take some precautionary actions in between the above thoughts. Like checking Michael's syllabus for the next week, emailing professors, making sure Amberlie could cover us, and calling our moms to make it official. In the next few hours I frantically tackled the laundry, packed our bags, printed directions, calculated gas costs, and hit the pillow. The next morning, we left. And documented everything along the way. Literally, everything. We took a picture at least every hour of where we were and whatever was around us. So without further ado here they are. 

Departure: 9:53 am CO time.

1086.68 miles to Cville.

10:00 am first stop, Jamba Juice.

If you've never had the Razzmatazz, GO GET ONE NOW.

It will change your life forever.

11:00 am flat nothingness in northeastern CO. Smelled like poop.

12:00 lunch time. 

The secret to driving 17 hours straight through. But don't worry, 

I pulled my weight too. 13 hours out of 32 ladies and gentlemen, be impressed. 

1:00 pm frosty for Michael before we switched drivers.

2:00 pm proof that I really did drive!

3:00 pm Nebraska.

4:00 pm still Nebraska.

5:00 pm Again, Nebraska. But I'm not complaining, 

if it were Kansas you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the last three pictures.

6:00 pm sunset in Iowa.

7:00 pm Missouri

9:00 pm my iced caramel, yes please.

(no 8:00 picture...that's what happens when the other

person is sleeping and there's no one to use the camera.

I won't mention who that person was...)

 12:00 am Michael's idea, obviously.

 2:00 am Arby's chicken goodness.

 3:10 am downtown Cville, a sight for sore eyes.

Arrival: 3:15 am 

This is what our Mapquest looked like after 17 hours.

A work of art if I do say so myself,

although the top right corner leaves a lot to be desired.

No comment necessary.

Approximately five minutes after this picture was taken, 

we passed out on the living room couch and waited for my sister to

stumble upon us the next morning. Speaking of passing out...it's about that time friends.

But I'll be back tomorrow for the exciting-ness that is part two!

* or ten days later, you never know...